And look - here's a "Quote War" between my best friend and I!  Check out what happens when Tommy Lee Jones' wit and Peter Wingfeild's (ie, Methos) sarcasm do battle!

Methos Quotes

1. "Why do you want to go out with me?" -Alexa.  "Because the alternative is unthinkable." -Methos
2. "I spent years loosing my conscience only to have him go and find it again." -Methos
3. "Remember Highlander: Live, Grow stronger, Fight another day." -Methos
4. "Old timer, you got any words of wisdom for me?" -Richie Ryan.  "Nope." -Methos
5. "I haven't felt guilt since the eleventh century." -Methos
6. "I'm too old for this." -Methos
7. "It's finally happened!  You've lost your mind!" -Methos
8. "She'll be back." -Methos  "How do you know?" -Joe Dawson  "Because I'm very old and wise." -Methos
9. "You dump her and then you turn your back on her?  Talk about the blind leading the visually challenged!" -Methos
10. "Candygram!" -Methos
11. "Do the words 'obsessive-compulsive' mean anything to you?" -Methos
12. "There's a bomb!" -Duncan MacLeod  "Bright boy." -Methos
13. "If you die, Amanda will be free to date." -Methos
14. "So I'm a little weak on pop culture." -Methos  "Uh-huh." -Duncan MacLeod  "Well, who the hell is Chubby Checker in the grand scheme of things anyway?  I mean, I know how tall Nero was, I know Caesar's favorite salad, I know Helen of Troy didn't have that great a face, and it only launched a hundred ships, not a thousand, I..." -Methos  "Blah blah blah blah." -Duncan MacLeod
15. "No, it's not enough!  I killed, but I didn't just kill fifty, I didn't just kill a hundred...I killed a thousand.  I killed ten thousand!  And I was good at it...And it wasn't for vengeance.  It wasn't for greed.  It was because - I liked it.  Cassandra was nothing, her village was nothing.  Do you know who I was?  I was Death...Death!  Death on a horse.  When mothers told their children that the monster would get them, that monster was me.  I was the nightmare that kept them awake at night.  Is that what you want to hear?  The answer is yes...Ooh, yes." -Methos

Other Highlander: The Series Quotes

1. "Choose your ground, choose your weapon, and face what is to come." -Rebecca Horne
2. "I am the end of time!" -Kronos
3. "Sometimes a man's greatest asset is also his greatest liability." -May Ling Shen
4. "Fiddle-dee-dee, Fiddle-dee-dee / The fly has married the bumble bee / Says the fly, says he, will you marry me? / And stay with me sweet bumble bee?" -Juliet Fitzcairn

Other Shows I Watch

1. "Get the cheese to sickbay." -Capt. Kathryn Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager.
2. "Have I finally made it to hell?" -Derek Rayne.  "No, but you sure look like it." -William Sloan.  "I have an excuse, what's yours?" -Derek Rayne, Poltergeist: The Legacy.

Phrases Galore

1. What you know is not as important as who you know.  But what you know about who you know is where the real money is.
2. Ask  not what your country can do for you, but what it is trying to do to you.
3. Work like you don't need the money.  Love like you've never been hurt.  Dance like nobody's watching...
4. Cannot find REALITY.SYS.  Universe halted.
5. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or file name!"?
6. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
7. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
8. Smash head on keyboard to continue....
9. Press any key . . . no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
10. I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
11. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
12. He who hesitates is probably right.
13. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
14. Two wrongs are only the beginning.  (Or...)
15. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
16. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
17. Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
20. All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
21. The last time religion and politics were mixed, people were burned at the stake.
22. For Sale: Parachute.  Only used once, never opened, small stain.
23. I ran out of sick days, so I had to call in dead.
24. If a person with multiple personalities becomes suicidal, is it considered a hostage situation?
25. How is it paranoia if they really are out to get me?
26. Kill one man, you're a murderer.  Kill many, and you're a conqueror.  Kill them all, and you're a god.
27. Sanity is merely a sign of the unimaginitive.
28. Feminism is the radical notion that women are human.
29. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
30. Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.  (Slovenian proverb)

Quotes from Books

1.  "'F-ck me once, shame on me.  F-ck me twice, I f-ck back' -Mike Turcotte" -Robert Doherty's Area 51
2. "'Following you around let's me kill a lot of people' -Edward" -Laurrell K. Hamilton's The Killing Dance
3. "Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos." -the I Ching

Quotes from Movies

1. "There is no spoon." -Neo, The Matrix
2. "Move aside, man with a gun." -The General's Daughter
3. "Rule number fifteen: A hero is only as good as his weapon!" -Hercules, Disney's Hercules
4. "What are you?" -soldier.  "I'm complicated." -Dorian Gray, The League of Extraoridinary Gentlemen
5. "I'm an immortal, not a gazelle!" -Dorian Gray, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Real Quotes (by Real People)

1. "Better three hours too soon, than a minute too late." -William Shakespeare
2. "You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?" -Steven Wright
3. "Ability will never catch up with the demand for it." -Malcolm S. Forbes
4. "Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words." -Dorothy Parker
5. "You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do." -Henry Ford
6. "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." -"Closing Time" by the Semisonics.
7. "Before God we are all equally wise and equally foolish." -Albert Einstein
8. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." -Bill Gates, 1981
9. "Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun." -George Scialabba
10. "The truth is never pure, and rarely simple." - Oscar Wilde
11. "I couldn't help it.  I can resist anything except temptation." -Oscar Wilde
12. "A trivial play for serious people." -Oscar Wilde (referring to the play "The Importance of Being Earnest")
13. "All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike - yet it is the most precious thing we have." -Albert Einstein
14. "What does not destroy me, makes me strong." -Friedrich Nietzsche
15. "Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so." -William Shakespeare
16. "'Tis better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." -Abraham Lincoln
17. "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -Ernest Hemmingway
18. "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.  Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx
19. "Mediocrity is easy to acheive, but perfection takes a little time." -Adrian Paul (Highlander's Duncan MacLeod)
20. "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work....I want to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen

Quotes From Classes

What can I say?  I have strange classmates and even stranger professors.  I write down funny things people say in my class notes.  Here are some of my favorites.

1. "It's just like Bibles [the Bhagavad Gita]....and then you have to shake the people after they give you the book." -Prof. Bruce Wilson, Asian Literature
2. "It's like orange alert." -Jeff.  "I know, and puce, or apricot." -Bruce, Asian Lit
3. "This is a strange country with the states all made out of straight lines." -Bruce, Asian Lit
4. "Two humans do not equal a Vishnu." -Jeff, Asian Lit
5. "I think I see hands, but maybe they're antenna, I don't know...your auras are tingling." -Bruce, Asian Lit
6. "It's got a good beat, but you can't dance to it." -Bruce, Asian Lit
7. "He eventually gets executed for treason, for inciting a ressurrection." -Bruce, Asian Lit
8. "He was just a big monkey with a big stick!" -Jeff.  "Can you become a big monkey?" -Bill, Asian Lit
9. "To me they're like arch-villains.  They're like the Siamese cats in Lady and the Tramp.  Just hideous!" -Bruce, Asian Lit
10. "It wouldn't be that hard to knock them [triceratops/pteradactyles] out.  That's what surface to air missiles are for." -Prof. Dan Ingersoll, Interpretation of Myth
11. "How can you be undercover at a toga party?" -Ingersoll, Interpretation of Myth
12. "Ew, it has chunks in it? [referring to coconut juice]" -Prof. Michael "Mikey B" Boynton.  "And he actually drinks it!" -Scott.  "But it's white and creamy, and that's all that matters." -Mikey B, Scriptwriting
13. "Gay people don't have kids.  We have taste." -Mikey B, Scriptwriting
14. "What kind of functional things do you put on walls?  You could have a clock, a shadowbox with objects..." -Pam.  "Or a fork!" -Mitch, Intro to Combined Media (art class from hell)
15. "How do I write an abstract?" -me.  "It's basically a summary of your own work." -Leslie.  "But that's what the introduction and conclusion are for!" -me.  "It's more abstract than that." -Leslie, Mythinterpretation
16. "I guess I'm a guy....more like a dude." -Prof. Jeffrey Coleman, American Lit
17. "It's like eating a tic-tac; it just doesn't satisfy me." -Joan, American Lit
18. "I assume that since you got into this top-ranking institution you're literate." -Coleman, American Lit
19. "Every night is Mardi Gras night at the Coleman house." -Coleman, American Lit
20. "You can't always tell with polls because people don't really know what they're talking about." -Coleman, American Lit
21. "Don't worry, we'll get to the twentieth century soon and morals will disappear." -Prof. Ruth Feingold, Female Coming-of-Age novel (yes, that was an actual class)
22. "I studied Dante in a course of contemporary authors." -- Prof. Jeff Hammond, Creative Non-Fiction
23. "There was no homosexual relationship between me and Binky." -- Prof. Robin Bates, Film Genre
24. "Do you see why I get enthusiastic about genres?" -- Robin.  "Sex?" -- Mark, Film Genre
25. "There are few things more boring than studying pornography.  Not that I'd know." -- Robin, Film Genre

My Friends (said and/or made up by)

1. "Ouch!....Don't do that, it hurts." -Jess (to herself)
2. "Nothing in life is free.  Even if it is, you still have to pay shipping and handling." -Johanna (yes, me)
3. "If you bake it, they will eat it!" -Dolores (trust me, you don't want to know)
4. "It's a donkey!!!" -Sarah (again, don't ask)
5. "You know what?  Bleh!" - Dolores
6. "Time is a waste of life, and life is a waste of time.  So we should all get wasted and have the time of our lives!" -Chris
7. "But then I ran out of dead days, so I had to call in nonexistent!" -me, again
8. "Men always complain that we are suffocating them.  I say, if you can still hear them you're not pressing down on the pillow hard enough." - Rowan's email signature
9. "You want to know the meaning of life?  The meaning of life is that life sucks.  I told you not to ask." -Chris
10. "The end of the beginning of the end." -Tarah
11. "Fate is merely the cascading result of many acts of freewill." -Johanna
12. "We should not ask ourselves what reality means.  We should ask ourselves why reality is so mean." -Chris
13. "I used to have a crush on Ariel [from the Little Mermaid].  But then I turned seven." -Logan
14. "I am not a toy!!" -Erinn
15. "But I don't think anyone is intimidated by my sexiness." -Johanna.  "Except for Keith and Logan." -Karen
16. "We're gonna build a fort.  We can call it Hogwarts!" -Michelle
17. "If it says 'perishable' on it, that means food, right?" -random girl in Campus Center.  "Or a baby." -Becca
18. "If there's a chapter called 'The Avenger,' then this is a primary source." -- Debbie, working on her senior project
19. "Not only does she have purple prose, but she has yellow journalism.  No wonder she has a bad paper -- it clashes!" -- Leslie
20. "Do you want me to beat them up for you?  It's not a part of the official curriculum, but in the Army they do teach us how to hide the bodies." -- Marc
21. "The lack of symmetry offends me." -- Debbie, messing with Leslie's kimono.  "The Japanese actually don't like symmetry." -- Leslie.  "Well, I'm Chinese." -- Debbie

Quotes from Fanfiction

1. "'Damn.  Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln...' -Byran.  'Quit name dropping, Bry.' -Jim" -Jen Allen's "Consequences"
2. "'There is no more "My belief/religiong/organization is better than your's."  Now it's "How can we defeat the evil without blowing up the world in the process?"' -Steve St. Wolf" -Steve Pantovich's "Calling out the Clan"
3. "'How was I supposed to know she'd have a pet panther?' -Victoria" -Johanna (unpublished Forever Sequence story)
4. "'What is this, a trenchcoat convention?' -Nick Boyle" -Johanna's "Shadows of Forever"
5. "'Beware the storm by which all stops.' -William Boyle" -Johanna's "Forever Young"
6. "'And I'm Oz, codename bullsh-t.' -Oz" -Johanna's "Of All Immortals, Dark and Light" (unfortunately, this line did not make it to the final draft, but I love it anyway *g*)
7. "Six thousand Highlanders died alongside two thousand of their Irish cousins.  No one thought to count the dead Englishmen." -Lisa Krakowka and Heidi McKeon's "World's Collide: Ties Between Us"

Back to Main Page.

This page was last updated: 2.23.5 ~jlg~