Disclaimer: Kenny belongs to Rysher. Thomas Parker and Victoria belong to me.

This is the "K'Immie Lyric Wheel of Death and Mayhem" and the song lyrics are "iiee" by Tori Amos, submitted by Arsenic. Rated PG-13 for a bit of language and violence.

Fall, 1997

"Hey, kid! Get back here!" the clerk shouted as Kenneth, better known as the brat Immortal Kenny, ran out of the convenience store clutching a package of mini-donuts. He stuffed it in his jacket and dashed down the street, thankful that in this section of LA people never really took the chance to chase a thief out of the goodness of their hearts. When he turned the corner, he slowed down and headed for the abandoned office building where he was holed up for awhile.

He burst into the small office suite he had been living in ever since he escaped that awful orphanage and stopped short.  Staring back at him were four street teens. Apparently, they considered themselves the new owners. "Shit," Kenny said when he saw the guns that each boy carried. He never had the chance to defend himself as one of them pulled his gun and shot Kenny right in the chest.

Kenny revived with a gasp and found himself in the alley behind the office building. He lay there for a few moments before pushing himself to his feet and retrieving his sword from where it had been hidden behind an old Dumpster.  Cursing softly, he left the alleyway and started walking down the street. His donuts were gone, and so was the rest of the small amount of money he'd had on him. "Time for some more pickpocket practice," he muttered. And so he headed downtown.

As he walked, he studied the people around him, gauging who had the most money and was also stupid enough to carry it improperly. Finally, he spotted a victim. But Kenny stopped short when he sensed another Immortal. Looking around, he completely missed his intended victim doing the same thing. Then he shrugged and continued forward.  It was a big city.

When Kenny was only a couple feet behind the man, he noticed the way his coat was blowing. It was weighted to one side - as if a sword hung there. He again stopped and cursed, but a little more loudly than he had intended. The man whirled around, and they stared at each other.

"Thomas Parker," were the first words out of his mouth. He raised his eyebrow expectantly.

"Kenneth," the apparent boy tossed off. "Hey!" Parker had grabbed his elbow and was hauling him into the nearest alley. Kenny shrugged himself free and drew his sword.

"Tell me, Kenneth," Parker said, blithely ignoring the weapon the boy held. "Let us make a deal. I am looking for someone, and I believe you will know where she is. You tell me, and I will not take your head."

Kenny was always ready to make a deal like that, but decided to do a little bargaining. "I'll tell you, but only if you get me out of this city."

Parker nodded. "Done." When Kenny held out his hand, he rolled his eyes and placed some money in it. "Now, where is Victoria DiThon Kestral?"

Kenny was a bit surprised at this sudden turn. He had been expecting the man to say Amanda, but Victoria was his friend, his "little sister." A deal was a deal, though - kind of. "Wales," he replied, giving the last place he had known she was going. "Near Llangollen, a little north of the Dee River."

"Of course," Parker said. But Parker was tricky. He knew exactly where Victoria was, and it was not Wales, for he had just been there. She was in Seacouver, Washington. Parker had led Kenny into the alley beside the parking garage where his car was located. He again grabbed the apparent boy's arm.

"I don't think so," Kenny said. He ripped himself away and dashed down the street, clutching his sword awkwardly under his coat. A few blocks down, he relaxed and counted the money Parker had given him. "Sweet, sixty bucks." That was enough for a train ticket to Seacouver. But he had to do something first.

Grabbing a can of gasoline from a garage was no problem, and neither was shoplifting a lighter. He poured the gasoline all over the hallway in front of his former suite in the abandoned office building, and then locked the four boys who had shot him in.  After making sure everyone else was out, he lit the gas.

From across the street, Kenny watched quietly. The firefighters came, but they decided to let the old building burn.

No one heard the screams that came from inside.

About a month later, Kenny was in Seacouver living with Victoria and some other friends. Parker, whose real name was William Boyle, had been found and defeated - for now. He had said he would be back.

Kenny finally spilled to Victoria that he had known Parker was coming for her. He told her everything, including burning the office building. He was afraid she would be mad, but Victoria only shook her head and said, "You little arsonist."

~finis~

Okay, so I lost the lyrics, but the words I used were "You little arsonist."

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This page was last updated: 6.15.4 ~jlg~