I absolutely
adore quotes and other unique phrases (some I have a tendency to use so
often that my friends get rather annoyed). This is a collection from
Highlander: The Series, other shows that I watch, phrases that I just happen
to come across, real quotes by real people, and even a few from my friends
(both real life and cyber pals). Peruse at you own discretion and
add some jewels to your own conversation!
And look -
here's a "Quote War" between my best friend and I! Check out what
happens when Tommy Lee Jones' wit and Peter Wingfeild's (ie, Methos) sarcasm
do battle!
"Why do you want to go out with me?"
-Alexa. "Because the alternative is unthinkable." -Methos
"I spent years loosing my conscience
only to have him go and find it again." -Methos
"Remember Highlander: Live, Grow stronger,
Fight another day." -Methos
"Old timer, you got any words of wisdom
for me?" -Richie Ryan. "Nope." -Methos
"I haven't felt guilt since the eleventh
century." -Methos
"I'm too old for this." -Methos
"It's finally happened! You've
lost your mind!" -Methos
"She'll be back." -Methos "How
do you know?" -Joe Dawson "Because I'm very old and wise." -Methos
"You dump her and then you turn your
back on her? Talk about the blind leading the visually challenged!"
-Methos
"Candygram!" -Methos
"Do the words 'obsessive-compulsive'
mean anything to you?" -Methos
"There's a bomb!" -Duncan MacLeod
"Bright boy." -Methos
"If you die, Amanda will be free to
date." -Methos
"So I'm a little weak on pop culture."
-Methos "Uh-huh." -Duncan MacLeod "Well, who the hell is Chubby
Checker in the grand scheme of things anyway? I mean, I know how
tall Nero was, I know Caesar's favorite salad, I know Helen of Troy didn't
have that great a face, and it only launched a hundred ships, not a thousand,
I..." -Methos "Blah blah blah blah." -Duncan MacLeod
"No, it's not enough! I killed,
but I didn't just kill fifty, I didn't just kill a hundred...I killed a
thousand. I killed ten thousand! And I was good at it...And
it wasn't for vengeance. It wasn't for greed. It was because
- I liked it. Cassandra was nothing, her village was nothing.
Do you know who I was? I was Death...Death! Death on a horse.
When mothers told their children that the monster would get them, that
monster was me. I was the nightmare that kept them awake at night.
Is that what you want to hear? The answer is yes...Ooh, yes." -Methos
Other
Highlander: The Series Quotes
"Choose your ground, choose your weapon,
and face what is to come." -Rebecca Horne
"I am the end of time!" -Kronos
"Sometimes a man's greatest asset is
also his greatest liability." -May Ling Shen
"Fiddle-dee-dee, Fiddle-dee-dee / The
fly has married the bumble bee / Says the fly, says he, will you marry
me? / And stay with me sweet bumble bee?" -Juliet Fitzcairn
Other
Shows I Watch
"Get the cheese to sickbay." -Capt.
Kathryn Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager.
"Have I finally made it to hell?" -Derek
Rayne. "No, but you sure look like it." -William Sloan. "I
have an excuse, what's yours?" -Derek Rayne, Poltergeist: The Legacy.
Phrases
Galore
What you know is not as important
as
who you know. But what you know about who
you know is where the real money is.
Ask not what your country can
do for you, but what it is trying to do to you.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching...
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe
halted.
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT
command or file name!"?
As a computer, I find your faith in
technology amusing.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Smash head on keyboard to continue....
Press any key . . . no, no, no, NOT
THAT ONE!
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not
in control!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy
all evidence that you tried.
He who hesitates is probably right.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism;
to steal from many is research.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
(Or...)
Two wrongs don't make a right, but
three lefts do.
The problem with the gene pool is that
there is no lifeguard.
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of
a woman scorned.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't
get sucked into jet engines.
Why do psychics have to ask you your
name?
All those who believe in telekinesis,
raise my hand.
The last time religion and politics
were mixed, people were burned at the stake.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used
once, never opened, small stain.
I ran out of sick days, so I had to
call in dead.
If a person with multiple personalities
becomes suicidal, is it considered a hostage situation?
How is it paranoia if they really are
out to get me?
Kill one man, you're a murderer.
Kill many, and you're a conqueror. Kill them all, and you're a god.
Sanity is merely a sign of the unimaginitive.
Feminism is the radical notion that
women are human.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss
my mind the most.
Speak the truth, but leave immediately
after. (Slovenian proverb)
Quotes
from Books
"'F-ck me once, shame on me.
F-ck me twice, I f-ck back' -Mike Turcotte" -Robert Doherty's Area 51
"'Following you around let's me kill
a lot of people' -Edward" -Laurrell K. Hamilton's The Killing Dance
"Before the beginning of great brilliance,
there must be chaos." -the I Ching
Quotes
from Movies
"There is no spoon." -Neo, The Matrix
"Move aside, man with a gun." -The
General's Daughter
"Rule number fifteen: A hero is only
as good as his weapon!" -Hercules, Disney's Hercules
"What are you?" -soldier. "I'm
complicated." -Dorian Gray, The League of Extraoridinary Gentlemen
"I'm an immortal, not a gazelle!" -Dorian
Gray, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Real
Quotes (by Real People)
"Better three hours too soon, than
a minute too late." -William Shakespeare
"You can't have everything. Where
would you put it?" -Steven Wright
"Ability will never catch up with the
demand for it." -Malcolm S. Forbes
"Wit has truth in it; wisecracking
is simply calisthenics with words." -Dorothy Parker
"You can't build a reputation on what
you're going to do." -Henry Ford
"Every new beginning comes from some
other beginning's end." -"Closing Time" by the Semisonics.
"Before God we are all equally wise
and equally foolish." -Albert Einstein
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-Bill Gates, 1981
"Perhaps imagination is only intelligence
having fun." -George Scialabba
"The truth is never pure, and rarely
simple." - Oscar Wilde
"I couldn't help it. I can resist
anything except temptation." -Oscar Wilde
"A trivial play for serious people."
-Oscar Wilde (referring to the play "The Importance of Being Earnest")
"All our science, measured against
reality, is primitive and childlike - yet it is the most precious thing
we have." -Albert Einstein
"What does not destroy me, makes me
strong." -Friedrich Nietzsche
"Nothing is good or bad, but thinking
makes it so." -William Shakespeare
"'Tis better to be silent and thought
a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." -Abraham Lincoln
"Always do sober what you said you'd
do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -Ernest Hemmingway
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's
best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx
"Mediocrity is easy to acheive, but
perfection takes a little time." -Adrian Paul (Highlander's Duncan MacLeod)
"I don't want to achieve immortality
through my work....I want to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen
Quotes
From Classes
What can I
say? I have strange classmates and even stranger professors.
I write down funny things people say in my class notes. Here are
some of my favorites.
"It's just like
Bibles [the Bhagavad Gita]....and then you have to shake the people after
they give you the book." -Prof. Bruce Wilson, Asian Literature
"It's like orange
alert." -Jeff. "I know, and puce, or apricot." -Bruce, Asian Lit
"This is a strange
country with the states all made out of straight lines." -Bruce, Asian
Lit
"Two humans do
not
equal a Vishnu." -Jeff, Asian Lit
"I think I see
hands, but maybe they're antenna, I don't know...your auras are tingling."
-Bruce, Asian Lit
"It's got a good
beat, but you can't dance to it." -Bruce, Asian Lit
"He eventually
gets executed for treason, for inciting a ressurrection." -Bruce, Asian
Lit
"He was just
a big monkey with a big stick!" -Jeff. "Can you become a big monkey?"
-Bill, Asian Lit
"To me they're
like arch-villains. They're like the Siamese cats in Lady and
the Tramp. Just hideous!" -Bruce, Asian Lit
"It wouldn't
be that hard to knock them [triceratops/pteradactyles] out. That's
what surface to air missiles are for." -Prof. Dan Ingersoll, Interpretation
of Myth
"How can you
be undercover at a toga party?" -Ingersoll, Interpretation of Myth
"Ew, it has chunks
in it? [referring to coconut juice]" -Prof. Michael "Mikey B" Boynton.
"And he actually drinks it!" -Scott. "But it's white and creamy,
and that's all that matters." -Mikey B, Scriptwriting
"Gay people don't
have kids. We have taste." -Mikey B, Scriptwriting
"What kind of
functional things do you put on walls? You could have a clock, a
shadowbox with objects..." -Pam. "Or a fork!" -Mitch, Intro to Combined
Media (art class from hell)
"How do I write an abstract?" -me.
"It's basically a summary of your own work." -Leslie. "But that's
what the introduction and conclusion are for!" -me. "It's more abstract
than that." -Leslie, Mythinterpretation
"I guess I'm a guy....more like a dude."
-Prof. Jeffrey Coleman, American Lit
"It's like eating a tic-tac; it just
doesn't satisfy me." -Joan, American Lit
"I assume that since you got into this
top-ranking institution you're literate." -Coleman, American Lit
"Every night is Mardi Gras night at
the Coleman house." -Coleman, American Lit
"You can't always tell with polls because
people don't really know what they're talking about." -Coleman, American
Lit
"Don't worry, we'll get to the twentieth
century soon and morals will disappear." -Prof. Ruth Feingold, Female Coming-of-Age
novel (yes, that was an actual class)
"I studied Dante in a course of contemporary
authors." -- Prof. Jeff Hammond, Creative Non-Fiction
"There was no homosexual relationship
between me and Binky." -- Prof. Robin Bates, Film Genre
"Do you see why I get enthusiastic
about genres?" -- Robin. "Sex?" -- Mark, Film Genre
"There are few things more boring than
studying pornography. Not that I'd know." -- Robin, Film Genre
My
Friends (said
and/or made up by)
"Ouch!....Don't do that, it hurts."
-Jess (to herself)
"Nothing in life is free. Even
if it is, you still have to pay shipping and handling." -Johanna (yes,
me)
"If you bake it, they will eat it!"
-Dolores (trust me, you don't want to know)
"It's a donkey!!!" -Sarah (again, don't
ask)
"You know what? Bleh!" - Dolores
"Time is a waste of life, and life
is a waste of time. So we should all get wasted and have the time
of our lives!" -Chris
"But then I ran out of dead days, so
I had to call in nonexistent!" -me, again
"Men always complain that we are suffocating
them. I say, if you can still hear them you're not pressing down
on the pillow hard enough." - Rowan's email signature
"You want to know the meaning of life?
The meaning of life is that life sucks. I told you not to ask." -Chris
"The end of the beginning of the end."
-Tarah
"Fate is merely the cascading result
of many acts of freewill." -Johanna
"We should not ask ourselves what reality
means. We should ask ourselves why reality is so mean." -Chris
"I used to have a crush on Ariel [from
the Little Mermaid]. But then I turned seven." -Logan
"I am not a toy!!" -Erinn
"But I don't think anyone is intimidated
by my sexiness." -Johanna. "Except for Keith and Logan." -Karen
"We're gonna build a fort. We
can call it Hogwarts!" -Michelle
"If it says 'perishable' on it, that
means food, right?" -random girl in Campus Center. "Or a baby." -Becca
"If there's a chapter called 'The Avenger,'
then this is a primary source." -- Debbie, working on her senior project
"Not only does she have purple prose,
but she has yellow journalism. No wonder she has a bad paper -- it
clashes!" -- Leslie
"Do you want me to beat them up for
you? It's not a part of the official curriculum, but in the Army
they do teach us how to hide the bodies." -- Marc
"The lack of symmetry offends me."
-- Debbie, messing with Leslie's kimono. "The Japanese actually don't
like symmetry." -- Leslie. "Well, I'm Chinese." -- Debbie
Quotes
from Fanfiction
"'Damn. Other than that, Mrs.
Lincoln...' -Byran. 'Quit name dropping, Bry.' -Jim" -Jen Allen's
"Consequences"
"'There is no more "My belief/religiong/organization
is better than your's." Now it's "How can we defeat the evil without
blowing up the world in the process?"' -Steve St. Wolf" -Steve Pantovich's
"Calling
out the Clan"
"'How was I supposed to know she'd
have a pet panther?' -Victoria" -Johanna (unpublished Forever
Sequence story)
"'What is this, a trenchcoat convention?'
-Nick Boyle" -Johanna's "Shadows
of Forever"
"'Beware the storm by which all stops.'
-William Boyle" -Johanna's "Forever
Young"
"'And I'm Oz, codename bullsh-t.' -Oz"
-Johanna's "Of All Immortals,
Dark and Light" (unfortunately, this line did not make it to the final
draft, but I love it anyway *g*)
"Six thousand Highlanders died alongside
two thousand of their Irish cousins. No one thought to count the
dead Englishmen." -Lisa Krakowka and Heidi McKeon's "World's
Collide: Ties Between Us"
